death in a wal-mart

standing in the middle of a wal-mart store
i want to melt into the floor
and disappear
i am not here
i am not here
quit looking at me
i am not here

i want to hold my head and cry
these strangers scare me and i
cannot wait
to leave this place
away, away, away

my head tells me "these people hate you"
"these people pity you."
"these people want you gone"
"you - you know you don't belong."

and i walk aisle after aisle and
yes i know i wring my hands too much
i know i look terrified
i know my hat is backwards in a lost act of masculine courage
keep away your children's prying eyes
i know they got them from you
please take me home, mom
please just take me home

i lost my headphones
and i cannot drown my head
in bitter music
as these strangers close in

i am dead here
i dont want to exist here
get me away from here
but what is here

here is this planet
this vacuum that is consciousness
here is existing
and i want to get away from it

find me a place
where i am safe
where my own head does not attack me
every time i leave my home
i hate alone
i hate alone
i hate alone