crickets

in the dead of night
i like to listen for crickets.
just stop everything
even though my head never
shuts up
and listen for crickets.
sometimes
when i do that
i touch my arm
and feel my pulse.
then i get scared
not because i cant find it
but i am imagining
my family
not finding it
so i hide
under a blanket
and listen
for crickets again
because you see
i got off track
i need to keep myself
in line
but what if i
veer off the tracks
so much
that i fall off
this cliff of
existence

goodbye crickets
i loved your sweet sound