i haven't written words in a while
this keyboard seems foreign to me
as the art bleeds out from my body

i've become something i swore on my life
i would never evolve into
yet here i am
alone underground
searching for control
and something to ease the pain

one day my eyes will no longer strain
to see whats in front of me
and my chest wont hurt
from holding my breath
holding back
the words that would set me free

fear lives deep inside of me
and maybe that's what i'm trying to let out
because my control has been overcome by anxiety
and this font brings me solace no more

and i feel like if i wanted to
i could go back in time and see you
let you know what you were in for
let you know how difficult my life would get

because what is a roof over my head
if i am not safe under it

those words fire into me like bullets
paralyzing my body so i cannot move
i cannot take action
i cannot focus on the things that once made me whole

i know how hard it can be
and i know how hard it will get
and every day i struggle to grasp
what could keep me going
but it seems like an easy fix

but what is an easy fix
to one whose life is made of leaky pipes