DISMAL

NOTE ON HOW
OUR EXISTENCE ROTS LIKE DEATH IN
THE SUN, WORTHLESS
INVERTED WASTED TIME.
COLLAPSING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE
EARTH...
MY LUNGS ARE CEMENT,
EVER SILENCED.

OLD CARS & DEMONS

VINDICTIVE MEMORIES OF
INTRICATE DESIGN
NEVER BELIEVED IN GOD, BUT
THOUGHT THE UNIVERSE RAN ON KARMA
ARTIFACTS OF SPITE MADE TO BELIEVE
GOD SCREWED US ALL OVER
EVERYTHING FALLS BACK ON FEAR;

MILLENNIAL MARTYRDOM

YOUTH RIDES ALONGSIDE HOPE
OUR MOUTHS OPEN IN AWE OF RATS IN THE STREET
UNDEFINED IMAGINATION
REMNANTS OF TREEHOUSE DREAMS
EATING AWAY AT NEGATIVES

ALREADY SEEPING THROUGH

STRONG BONES
THICK SKULLS
RIDING INTERSTATES LIKE NEVER
ENDING MATH EQUATIONS
EMPATHETIC INSPIRATION WITHIN
TITAN FINGERS
LAMPS POWERED BY FIREFLIES
IGNITION SPARKS INTEREST
GHOSTS RESIDING IN ADOLESCENT BRAINS
HAUNTING SHAKY HANDS
TRAUMA FOLLOWS HYSTERIA

WILLOW TREES OF GENTLE FONDNESS
INTIMATE INTERACTIONS WITH THOSE WE LOVE
THREATS OF LIFE CONSTANTLY HANG OVER OUR HEADS
HONORARY MEMBERS OF PANIC THERAPY

OPENLY TUNDRA
NEVER ENDING DESERT
EITHER WAY

WORDS MAKE NO SENSE TO ME
ADULTS DREAMING OF FIREFLIES
YOUTH HAS BECOME A GHOST

EACH CONCERNED LOVED ONE
YOU NEED ME?
EVER BELIEVED YOU WERE ALONE?
STATIONARY DAYDREAMS.

BROKEN MEN
FOLLOW THEIR DARKEN SOULS
SEARCHING FOR PURPOSE
AND NOTHING MORE
FILING DOWN A ONE-WAY STREET
PAVED WITH THE HEARTS OF
THOSE THEY USED TO LOVE
AND LOST PASSIONS BATHED IN WHITE

in retrospect
i could have
forgiven

everything i think has gotten high
off of fear
i cant stop thinking
this loss of control means
the end is near
so im panicking
my lungs refuse to fill with
air
so i have a hard time
telling you whats haunting me
it's like im a ghost
and they're mourning what i
used to be
but jokes on them
i was miserable
struck by illusion that
i was who anyone could see
but im going to keep fighting
and you'll have to stop hurting me
eventually
hopefully
soon enough  .

i haven't written words in a while
this keyboard seems foreign to me
as the art bleeds out from my body

i've become something i swore on my life
i would never evolve into
yet here i am
alone underground
searching for control
and something to ease the pain

one day my eyes will no longer strain
to see whats in front of me
and my chest wont hurt
from holding my breath
holding back
the words that would set me free

fear lives deep inside of me
and maybe that's what i'm trying to let out
because my control has been overcome by anxiety
and this font brings me solace no more

and i feel like if i wanted to
i could go back in time and see you
let you know what you were in for
let you know how difficult my life would get

because what is a roof over my head
if i am not safe under it

those words fire into me like bullets
paralyzing my body so i cannot move
i cannot take action
i cannot focus on the things that once made me whole

i know how hard it can be
and i know how hard it will get
and every day i struggle to grasp
what could keep me going
but it seems like an easy fix

but what is an easy fix
to one whose life is made of leaky pipes