quicksand

honestly,
i'm just drowning in quicksand.
not water,
because then i could kick my legs
and actually get somewhere.

the quicksand
pulls me in farther
every time i try.

try to fight it.
try to win.

the sand around me fills in
and it begins to squeeze on my arms,
my neck,
and i can feel my pulse.

i wonder
what the silence
will be like
when it stops.

in truth,
i cant fight it.
i won't win.
and i know that is extremely pessimistic

but it is truth.
i will not run from it.
and im sorry if that lands me
in a bad place.

do not blame yourself.

it's
all
my
fault.