self-love

when did the word gay
become a gasp caught in our forefathers throats
and a no a sigh of relief?

when did it become ok
for the rights of living breathing loving human beings
to become a debate?

who's idea was it to make our lives hell,
for being who we are and always will be?

it took me 15 years to realize who i am
and a minute to realize what that might mean for me

but ive always been in love
with the idea of not being
what people expect me to be

i want to grow into my skin
and i want my mind to blossom
like flowers in spring after a rainstorm

no, i am not a girl

i know what youre thinking,
shocking!
there are people out there
who question their gender identity!
how unusual!
how strange!
how much do you want to limit yourself, friend?

no, i am not a boy.

well that's just not possible!
it's all about whats between your-

dont be rude.

i am me.

i am mikey, and i like singing, and laughing, and exploring, and falling asleep to the sound of rain, and pretty girls and pretty boys and everyone in between. i love seeing my friends be happy and i love watching my little brothers and sisters grow up before my eyes and blossom into the beautiful souls they always have been.

i am not a threat.

i am nothing but a fire that refuses to stop burning
flames licking the idea that i am oh so very wrong
because i couldnt be more right.

im not going to let you hurt me anymore.

im done with being ashamed of loving bowties and beyblades.

im done with being ashamed of rather wearing shorts than a bikini

im done with being ashamed of being me.

because im finally beginning to love myself, and i really want you to, to.

an ode to the destruction of every sad poem ive ever written.

an ode to the destruction of every sad poem ive ever written.

im tired of writing sad poems.

i want to create something that makes people feel. 

i want to write about life and love and expectations and all the things i want to happen. 

i want to write about every emotion possible within the human being.

i want to take people i dont understand to places they never thought possible. 

i want to put paradise into words, i want to write about the galaxies in my veins.

to every abstract story that has ever passed my way, 

i want to destroy any possibility of impossibility. 

i want to create a new culture of thought and beauty, like the moon shining on the ocean, 

after being driven home in a pedicab 

by a man who has biked through over 34 countries. 

thirty four.

dont you believe that man might understand the impossibility of the possibility, that there are no limits to human life?

once and for all, i want to destroy my sad poems.

i want to look back on them and remember how far ive come.

i am not a sad poem anymore.

they are a representation of my will to live,

they are a manifestation of my blind heart

who has finally opened its eyes to see the kaleidoscope of the human mind.

this is an ode to the destruction of every sad poem ive ever written,

and i will write it in the stars.

i am a galaxy of bad decisions and love.

of spirited fires and art.

i am not a sad poem anymore.