Lamplight

the word "friend"
is difficult
to find meaning to.
friend
could be
anything
from acquaintance
to my rock.
in the simpler tense
i have friends
loads
of them can fill up
the great lakes
with their smiles
and their waves
and their grins
they are people that
know who i am.
who know i exist.
but there's one person
who stands above the others
when i am gasping for breath
dying to feel my pulse again
and so, so scared
that i am trembling
under the water,
the pressure
of my own pain
she grabs my flailing hand
my shaking fingers
and holds me steady.
she reminds me to stand
in water only 4 foot deep
reminds me that i am 5
she worries for me
constantly
falling back in
and some days i try
to remember how to swim
and she guides me
she picks me back up
and she gives me a hug
just when i need one.
and if friend is all i can come up with,
that is not enough.
this person is more than a friend
more than an acquaintance
even more than my rock
an unexplainable force
that guides me home when i am lost.
she is my lamplight.
my superhero
doubling over with her own pain
while i am still here struggling underneath her
and she still tries
my god she still tries
and i watch in awe as that hand
comes down for me once more
and i know that
i can't leave this world anymore.