Talking

I like the way
my voice sounds
so gruff
with a sore throat
as I read
the words
written on the
crumpled page after
only two days of use,
and I speak
like I havent spoken
for years
and the truth begins to
pour out of my mouth
like someone poked a hole in the
dam and everything all
that I know is getting wet
and I am enjoying it
because it has been
so wretchedly hot
inside of my mind
it's like a beast being set
free to run wild
like they are
and it's exhilerating
yet oh so frightening
and I start to cramp up
because I forget the lines
and I look down at the paper
disappointed
like it was supposed to somehow
telepathically
tell me what to
say tell me how
to talk
because I've become so
dependant on everything
else
and it's really hard
to stand alone
but I do it
anyways
with hopes that
people begin to listen
and I mean really listen
to what I have to say
for once
and I feel like that'd be a great thing
for once
to feel like I did something right.