inside my head, not ribcage or flesh

there are rivers
in my head
beside forests
and moss
and little pools
that would be good
for jumping in
and it's always
nighttime
and nighttime
creatures
constantly roam
my head jumping
in those puddles
just like i wouldve
taking away meaning
from falling leaves
and sunless reflections
reflections
of my face
my tired face
that sometimes
it pains me to see
like the feeling
when you're about
to get a needle
and you begin to
panic
and emotions
whoosh over you
until it's over
except this is not
like a doctor's visit
this is like 
getting stabbed
in the arm
or the chest
or the gut
with a rusty old knife
rusty
like that old car
on the edge of the
forest
you swore
you swore
it would drive
it would take us
away from here
you could do it
but look where we are
covering ourselves
with blankets
that barely reach our
shins
in the winter air
freezing
shivering goosebumps
you'll catch a cold
out there
but sickness
doesnt scare me
anymore
because ive felt it
beating through
my veins so many
times
so many times