what i believed

for the longest time,
i thought love was for the ignorant.
people void of feeling
aching to find someone to play this ridiculous game with.
i thought the L was for lies,
i thought the O was for out of my mind.
and maybe its true.
i thought love was for anyone but me.
i thought it was for strangers
people who refuse to understand
and only within myself
when i think about the vastness of the world.
but you
you brought it out of me.
you taught me that the V was for velocity
or the speed at which my heart races when i think about you.
how fast my mouth curls into a smile without even thinking about it.
and i cant help but wonder
how its possible
that someone could be so beautiful
inside and out
could be blind to their own incredible mind.
how could anyone ever ignore every piece of you
when i cant stop thinking about it?
you are full of mystery
and maybe thats too much
but the thought of how far away you are right now
hurts so bad
and its hard to ignore
and hard to hold back emotions.
halfway across the world
and you still have me going crazy.
i wish i could see the fireworks with you by my side.
i wish i could watch the sunset i missed
with you in my arms,
i wish i could experience the world
with you, your hand in mine.
maybe im setting myself up for heartbreak.
but in this moment
i couldnt care less
because you make me feel alive
and maybe the E stands for something more than i can believe
something beyond my intelligence.
im trying to understand this life
and it has gotten so frustrating
but if i have you
i cant see any reason to give up.
with you in my life
everything has changed
i feel alive
my veins are filled with fireworks
and i dont know if its the caffeine in my veins
or the way you make me feel
but my heart wont stop racing
with the thought of you.
one day i might figure you out,
and one day you might understand me.
but just know that you have made my life so much better
and now i dont know what to do with it
other than spend it with you.