fucked

my head is like fire
and darkness
and numbness
and fear
and monsters
and suicide
all wrapped in one
with a toxic bow.
when i need sleep
my head tells me
to stay up
and dwell on
my senses
of despair
see how my gut
is true
and i try to
shake it off
and i mean literally
i shake like a leaf
i run my fingers through
my hair
i wring my hands
tell myself 
this ain't true
but really
look alive
darling
because it is.
all of it is true.
you're fucked.

you're fucked.