prepared

im not prepared
for these two weeks.
not at all.
i'm not ready 
for this alone.
it's a different breed.
this alone is something
that i have never dealt
with before.
i've always had
my support group
right on hand
at the push of a button
instant comfort.
but now...
i'm scared.
i'm alone.
i'm lonely.
i dont have motivation
to keep up
with myself
anymore.
he told me,
"i dont want
to go to
any more
funerals."
i dont want to
let him down.
i'm suffering
though.
i'm suffering
and i dont
know how
to handle it
by myself.