my room feels like summer

my room feels like summer
it embraces me as i walk in that door
the air around me grabs my arms like a hug

welcome back to your cave
welcome back to your room
welcome back to your bed
welcome back to the place 
where you always end up alone.

welcome back to the place where you deny the monsters are there
the place where you deny that you are alone
the place where you deny that everything is wrong
where you go to sleep
wishing you were not a liar

my room feels like summer
my room is not summer
it is not even close to summer
summer is a wonderful place full of sun and happiness and friends
and my room is not summer
my room is darkness
my room is numb
my room is a place where the monsters under my bed are my best friends.

it is not happy
there is no sunlight
i have kept these blinds closed for so long
and i should probably open them up more
once in a while
let the summer air come in
and try to change the way that things are
maybe then i wouldn't be so messed up.